I witnessed the return of the Psychic Friends Network this weekend. Thankfully, some other losers were watching TV at odd hours Saturday to confirm that I was not having an acid flashback.
I didn’t freak over Vivica A. Fox, who is now the new host of the infomercial, being involved in such a bottom-feeding venture. The only thing I remember her in is “Independence Day” as the stripper with a heart of gold. Oh wait, she was in “Kill Bill: Vol. 1” playing a bad ass, then she is killed in front of her kid, or something. Anyway, it makes sense to have a fresh face for the next generation of gullible fucktards. The late Dionne Warwick would be proud. Wait, is Dionne Warwick still alive? Yes! Let’s see her Wiki entry:
Warwick’s career slowed in the 1990s. During this period, Warwick hosted infomercials for the Psychic Friends Network which featured psychic Linda Georgian. The 900 number psychic service was active from 1991 to 1998. According to press statements throughout the 1990s, the program was the most successful infomercial for several years and Warwick earned in excess of three million dollars per year as spokesperson for the network. In 1998, Information, the corporation owning the network, filed for bankruptcy and Warwick ended her association with the organization. Warwick’s longtime friend and tour manager Henry Carr acknowledged in a 2002 Biography Channel interview that “when Dionne was going through an airport and a child recognized her as ‘that psychic lady on TV’ Dionne was crushed and said she had worked too hard as an entertainer to become known as ‘the psychic lady’.”
So the old Psychic Friends Network went bust? (Insert “bet they didn’t see that coming” joke.) But they’re back!
The new Friends features “celebrity psychic” Christian Dion. He claims to be right 93.6 percent of the time.
Well, it seems in these troubled times…ah fuck. You can never go wrong assuming most of your fellow men and women are rubes.
Now where’s Miss Cleo?
Posted By: Robert